I would be so much happier if only (s)he would _________. If (s)he wasn't so ____________ I would feel so much better and our relationship would flourish.
Mary's work with couples involves the complete acceptance and acknowledgement of the following:
I am responsible for my own happiness and well-being. You are responsible for your own happiness and well being. Together, as happy self-responsible people, we will create a fabulous relationship.
In these sessions, we will identify what each of you is doing, thinking, believing, protecting, guarding against, or focusing on that is creating the conflict between you.
We will identify where you want to go in the relationship, a shared vision for what you want to create together. What each of you needs to be happy, healthy, at peace, safe, and loved.
Each person will be "called" on what he or she is doing which prevents that vision from manifesting. That person then agrees to take full responsibility for that behavior, and do whatever is recommended to instill a new pattern or way of being.
We will determine what each of you will contribute as individuals to create your shared vision. You will agree to be held accountable for your contribution.
The goal is this work is for each of you to feel good. Relationships only feel good when the people in them feel good.